Another guest post from Lavado Verde:

If you’re like me, CSA sign-up season is an uncomfortable time.  Sure, you want to support farmers, but you don’t want to commit to picking up produce at a dirty farm, or worse yet, some community gathering place where you’ll have to talk to neighbors.  And you’re not sure you want all those leeks.

Fortunately, I’ve come up with a new type of CSA, one that eliminates the inconveniences of the traditional model.  This year I’m supporting “Corporate Super Agriculture” or “Chain Store Agriculture.”  The words don’t really matter.  The main thing is the acronym, which will give you a license to act superior with zero commitment.

While traditional CSA suckers subscribers are stuck picking grubs out of their lettuce bunches, I’ll enjoy triple-washed, pesticide-cleansed bagged baby greens.  Come late fall, when traditional CSA subscribers are drowning in root veggies, I’ll enjoy mangoes from Mexico and New Zealand kiwis.

Studies show that people most eagerly embrace new concepts that don’t require any changes in habits or thinking.  And that’s the real beauty of my CSA.  You can just keep right on buying cheap, flavorless produce, or, if you want, only eat plant matter when it is part of a Kashi freezer meal, acai smoothie additive or pom-flavored carbonated drink.  That’s right!  Simply shop at your big box superstore, as usual, and you can feel smug about your commitment to a CSA!

Bypass the traditional CSA and the irksome farmer’s market where, sure, the produce is fresh, delicious and affordable, but you won’t get that warm feeling that only comes from supporting a large, faceless corporate entity, or the satisfaction of knowing your dollars are irrelevant and so you bear no personal responsibility.

This spring, while the traditionalists keep shelling out hundreds to their old school CSAs, I, for one, will proudly, and, yes, self-righteously, proclaim, “I already belong to a CSA.”

And my produce may not taste good, but it’s big and pretty.

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